Wednesday Jan 25, 2023

The Source of Unnecessary Suffering (And How to Stop It)

“I wish someone had told us to feel the emotions, and to feel them all, even the painful ones. Life is meant to be a mix of the good and the bad, the dark and the light. And we only know the goodness of life's most magical moments when we allow and accept the darkness of the hard and heavy times,” shares host and self-confidence coach for women and teens, Leslie Randolph. When we resist our negative emotions, we actually add more suffering on top of the existing suffering. In order to gain the emotional intelligence to begin processing emotions that we might otherwise choose to avoid, we need to practice allowing ourselves to feel every emotion.

Humans are not meant to be happy all the time, but often when we experience a negative emotion we think that implies something inherently bad in us. You are not weak or wrong for feeling badly, you are just a human experiencing a completely normal human emotion. If your reaction to feeling any negative emotion is to be mad at yourself or feel ashamed, you are adding unnecessary suffering onto your existing suffering. Instead of resisting negative emotions, allow yourself to feel them. Check in with your body and label your emotions, because this will help you to normalize those feelings.

It is perfectly okay and natural to feel negative emotions sometimes. In spite of what you continually see on social media, no human is happy all the time. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us for a conversation with host Leslie Randolph about the importance of allowing yourself to experience all emotions, good or bad, in order to reduce unnecessary suffering.

Quotes:

• “Suffering on suffering comes when we resist emotions versus allowing them.” (6:58-7:03 | Leslie)

• “We are not supposed to be happy all the time. We're not. It's a lie that's perpetuated everywhere.” (8:26-8:36 | Leslie)

• “If you subscribe to a social platform that shows you just one sector of people's lives, you might believe that we're supposed to be happy all the time. And I promise you, we're not. Reels are not reality, my friend. But if we believe that we're supposed to be happy, then when we feel a negative emotion, we believe something is wrong. And then when we think something is wrong, that adds just a whole new layer of negative emotion on negative emotion. I'm feeling sad. I shouldn't feel sad. Something's wrong. Now I feel sad about feeling sad. Suffering on suffering.” (9:05-9:53 | Leslie)

• “I wish someone had told us to feel the emotions, and to feel them all, even the painful ones. Life is meant to be a mix of the good and the bad, the dark and the light. And we only know the goodness of life's most magical moments when we allow and accept the darkness of the hard and heavy times.” (25:12-25:37 | Leslie)

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts or mental health matters, please call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to connect with a trained counselor or visit the Lifeline site at https://988lifeline.org/.

Connect With Leslie:

https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/

The Source of Unnecessary Suffering (And How to Stop It)

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