Why Didn’t They Tell Us?

GLOWing with Gratitude

“It’s a holistic experience, not a fleeting moment. It’s a practice,” says Jill Rivkin. Ahead of her 40th birthday, Jill decided to participate in a challenge. For 40 days she wrote down everything she was grateful for, down to the way her son belly laughed while playing with his Legos, and shared it on social media. These popular posts evolved into the blog Grateful Girl, which eventually led to her co-founding Gratitude Generation, a nonprofit organization committed to inspiring gratitude in future generations through service and education. Though she’s a “glass half full” person by nature, Jill insists that we can all rewire our brains to adopt a gratitude mindset, even as life becomes more complicated and the world an increasingly scary place. 
 
When we act with gratitude, everyone wins. Jill discusses the ripple effect that Gratitude Generation has created throughout her community as well as the benefits gratitude provides to our physical health. For teens who are self-absorbed by nature, the practice cultivates an awareness of the world around them, and helps to build their self-confidence. 
 
It's a practice that anyone–no matter what they are going through or what lifestyle they lead—can begin incorporating into their daily habits. Join Jill and Leslie as they discuss their own teenagers’ experience with Gratitude Generation and the major difference between gratitude and happiness. 
Quotes
“I see the world for what it offers me, I see people for what they give me. My mom once told me it was a beautiful trait I have for loving everybody in my world for what they can give me and not judging them for what they can’t.” (6:46 | Jill)
“Sometimes we're not ready for gratitude. Sometimes things suck or sometimes things are stressful. Sometimes things are emotional, sad, all of it. Gratitude will help us dig out of every single one of those emotions. But when the time is right. (13:59 | Jill) 
“It's a holistic experience. It's not a fleeting moment. It's a practice.” (16:49 | Jill) 
“Leslie, you mentioned your ‘buzz.’ So at Gratitude Generation, we like to call it a glow. Because you know, we love a good acronym. So Gratitude Lights Our World.  Because we like to glow. And so you can be buzzed, you can be glowing, you can all have it. But you're absolutely right in that you feel something.” (24:00 | Jill) 
“The ripple effect, besides the feel good, the buzz, the glow, all that, is it is incredibly healthy. This is really truly scientifically proven to be good for you to give for yourself, to give of yourself to take care of yourself by doing things that make you feel good.” (29:04 | Jill) 
“Gratitude is not limited to people who have certain things or live certain lives. It's such an important part of every human's thinking that whether you have a lot or you have a little gratitude can be found.” (34:38 | Jill) 
 
Learn more about Gratitude Generation: https://www.gratitudegeneration.org/
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Book a Confidence Cultivator Call with Leslie: https://calendly.com/lesliethelifecoach/self-confidence-consult?month=2023-11
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

The Power of Positivity

With so much going wrong in the world today, it’s no wonder we’re all so stressed, both mentally and physically. Worse, our coping mechanisms–endless scrolling, complaining to each other and compiling our fears, emotionally spiraling–do nothing to alleviate the problem. In fact, they only create more problems. On today’s episode, Leslie offers a better solution, one that’s free and accessible to all of us at this very moment– positive thinking. 
 
It should be said up front: this is not an escape from negative emotions. It is a deliberate practice which requires that you channel your emotional energy with intention. As Leslie always says, it’s a privilege to feel all emotions. This process is about shifting focus, empowering yourself with coping skills and reaping the benefits that follow like pain relief, resistance to illness and reduced risk from death and prolonged life. 
 
You deserve to feel happy and hopeful and, as a result, do good works for others in return. After all, positive energy is contagious.
 
Quotes
“If you are a human living on planet Earth right now, chances are positivity has been a challenge.” (1:56 | Leslie)
“I will say it again and again. It is our privilege as humans to feel and feel it all. We only know the goodness of life's best and most beautiful moments because we've experienced life's lows. We've experienced setbacks. We've experienced sadness. It is forever a balance, a yin and a yang.” (4:31 | Leslie)
“Findings out of John Hopkins, which kind of echo what Mayo Clinic found, show that people with a family history of heart disease, who also had a positive outlook, were 1/3 less likely to have a heart attack or other cardiovascular event within five to 25 years than those with a more negative outlook.” (8:24 | Leslie)
“Positivity can do that. It's infectious, it's magnetic. It's an energy people want to be around. And it's not one size fits all. Don't go and be me. My brand of positivity might not be the same as yours. Find yours. Tap into it with intention for you, first and foremost. But then there's beautiful byproducts of it, right? You might just lift someone else up. What a beautiful thing to do today in the world that we're living in.” (11:28 | Leslie) 
“This is not you know, flipping the switch and being like, I'm never gonna think a negative thought again. That's not the point here. But I want you to be mindful with that negativity.” (14:08 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Book a FREE Confidence Cultivator Call: https://calendly.com/lesliethelifecoach/self-confidence-consult
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Dos & Don’ts of Raising Confident & Independent Adults

Are you unintentionally hindering your teenager's journey to independence? Dr. Leigh Weisz sheds light on a paradox: In our bid to protect our kids, are we actually robbing them of essential life skills? In this episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us, Dr. Weisz joins the discussion to tell us what we can do as parents of teenagers to ensure they grow into confident and independent adults. So many of today’s parents, despite all of their good intentions, are trying to rescue their kids from feeling any kind of discomfort. From the embarrassment of forgetting to bring their homework to class to the complicated feelings of grief, parents are robbing their kids of the self-sufficiency, problem-solving skills, and emotional resilience required to be healthy and productive adults. Parents need to give their teens the space to fail, be sad, and struggle while learning new skills. This is easier said than done as it requires that parents must endure their own emotional discomfort in the process. 
 
We live in a world where parents are more overloaded than ever with responsibilities and expectations. Simultaneously, especially for more affluent families, an increasing number of modern conveniences mean it’s faster and easier to never have a teenager have to do anything for themselves. Dr. Weisz explains what parents can do–and stop doing–to give kids more responsibilities and consequences, as well as opportunities to earn rewards for themselves. 
 
For parents who are bombarded with too much–often conflicting–information about how to raise their kids, Dr. Weisz refreshingly recommends doing (a little) less rather than more. She shares her parenting “greatest hits,” explains why it’s a mistake to give your child a debit card and why getting admitted into the Ivy League means nothing if you can’t do your own laundry.
 
Quotes
“One characteristic I think is really important to have is grit. Angela Duckworth coined that term. It's really the ability to persevere through challenges, not to give up right away at the first moment of discomfort or challenge.” (7:38 | Dr. Weisz)
“It's about stepping back, not hovering or being a helicopter parent quite as much–again no one has bad intentions when they do this, and of course, we all do this sometimes–but trying to protect them less, and allow them to figure it out a little bit more.” (13:32 | Dr. Weisz) 
“The idea that the parents would allow them to also experience some meanness and know that they can develop skills, whether it's asserting themselves, choosing the right people to hang out with, standing up for themselves, making a change in lunch tables, whatever those skills are. They can handle it, even though it is uncomfortable, and we wish it wasn't uncomfortable for them, but not trying to rescue them from experience.” (17:14 | Dr. Weisz)
“We've had clients in our practice come to us who were very academically superior, we'll call them. They got into Ivy League colleges and couldn't stay freshman year because they couldn't navigate the situations without their parents. So, it's not just academics, it's not just if they’re smart kids. Do they have these other skills that we're trying to prepare them for, and confidence that they can do it without their parents right there?” (25:38 | Dr. Weisz)
“Give yourself permission as a parent to sit back and relax a little bit more than we probably all do in your parenting style. Let them do more and you do less would be the overarching message…As much as you want to be able to fix everything and be there, sometimes just listening and being a support along this journey is the best thing you can do.” (35:23 | Dr. Weisz) 
Learn more about Coping Partners: https://copingpartners.com/
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Red Flags & The Relationship Spectrum with Jordyn Scorpio

"Communication is the core of everything.” Jordyn Scorpio is the Director of Community Education at SHALVA, the oldest independent Jewish domestic abuse agency in the United States. As part of her Seven Circles program, she helps to educate Jewish couples on abuse prevention, which starts with identifying the differences between healthy, unhealthy and abusive relationships, which exist on a spectrum. Healthy relationships include healthy conflict which provide opportunities for both individuals to learn and grow, while at the heart of abuse is a need to assert power and control over someone. This is why listening to your gut instinct–whether you are the one in the relationship, or a concerned loved one—is so important: if something seems weird, it’s weird, says Jordyn. 
 
Signs of abuse, however subtle, present themselves early and they can get buried under a lot of confusing messaging. It’s easy to be blinded by abusers’ high status or social charm, and it’s true that even abusive relationships can include a lot of love. Jordyn reveals personality traits that abusers commonly exhibit as well as red flags to look out for when anyone starts a new relationship. 
 
Parents can introduce prevention education to their teenagers, spotting yellow flags and opening up conversations about them. This includes questioning portrayals of love and romance in film as well as appointing a safe adult to confide in.In a world filled with diverse relationship dynamics, understanding and recognizing the spectrum of characteristics from what is healthy to what is dangerous is so important. Jordyn's insights offer not only a guide to navigating our own relationships but how we can support others to create safe and nurturing connections.
 
Quotes
“Conflict can be really healthy. If there's conflict happening, that means that you're both two independent people with independent lives, opinions and voices. And that breeds conflict sometimes. But that's a beautiful thing to have in a relationship.” (12:12 | Jordyn)
“What's difficult about the topic of domestic abuse in general is it's hard for people to distinguish between healthy, unhealthy and abusive. It is on a spectrum. And if it was really easy to define, and very black and white, then it would be easy to say, ‘This isn't good, I'm getting out.’” (13:41 | Jordyn)
“Trust your gut. If you feel like something was weird, something was weird. We're really trained as young women to not trust our guts and to be the nice person.” (18:15 | Jordyn) 
“At the core of it, it is about power and control.  That is the definition. It's about somebody asserting power and control over somebody else. And they just find different tools to do it since the dawn of time.” (25:53 | Jordyn) 
“The idea that hurt people hurt people is very relevant in an abusive relationship. All of these people doing this are not sociopaths. They likely saw abuse in their homes and that's how they saw love.” (29:53 | Jordyn)
SHALVA Resources and Support:
If you are in urgent need of support, SHALVA’s Help/Crisis Line is open 24/7, call 1-773-583-HOPE (4673)
Learn more about SHALVA: www.shalvacares.org 
Follow SHALVA on Facebook & Instagram @shalvachicago
Learn more about Seven Circles: www.sevencirclesjourney.org 
Follow Seven Circles on Facebook & Instagram @sevencircleschicago
 
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Lessons Learned from a Breast Cancer Diagnosis

“What's crazy is I've never been happier. I've never felt more alive,” says Leslie’s sister, Laura.  This is a surprising and admirable reaction to the events of the last three years which have included several major health problems, the most recent of which is a breast cancer diagnosis. Laura joins the podcast just before entering her next round of cancer treatment, to share the lessons she has learned and continues to learn from these challenges and how they have shaped her incredibly positive mindset. Starting four years ago, with the help of a life coach, she learned how to reparent her inner child and change the negative image she had carried about herself throughout her life. After all, we can’t control what happens to us but we can control how we respond to it and the meaning we choose to assign to it.
 
Now in the midst of her cancer journey, Laura chooses gratitude. Gratitude for her supportive husband, for her incredibly understanding boss and co-workers, and for the money to afford medical treatment. The many changes, including to her body, are opportunities for growth and surrender. She discusses the many ways people have reached out in support, including quite literally taking the shirts off of their backs in a show of camaraderie. 
 
So many people are touched by this disease, and Laura recognizes that there is no one way to deal with it. Still, she offers advice for those going through it and those who want to show support. 
 
Quotes
• “Without question the last three years of my life have been the best years of my life.” (7:20 | Laura) 
• “Things are always going to happen. We have an opportunity, whether we realize it or not, to assign meaning and value to those data points. And I think most of the time, we don't have a conscious moment of recognition that, okay, I'm making this thing that happened mean something. There's what happened, there's how I feel about it, and then there’s what I assign in terms of value.” (10:29 | Laura)
• “I can control how I want to approach this. I have made a conscious choice to not spend my energy trying to keep things the same. Because that's a waste. Nothing is going to be the same. I can resist the change or I can embrace the change. And, embrace, not just accept, find ways to find joy in the change.” (16:28 | Laura)
• “We are typically so hard on ourselves. And, every time we think something negative or do something that doesn't serve us. It's usually being fueled by or informed by the little girl inside of us who is scared of not getting what she needs.” (19:27 | Laura)
• “That's the lesson learned, that I am so powerful, that I am so resilient that I’m unstoppable. If I can do that, I can do anything.” (24:29 | Laura) 
• “I realized I could control more than just my mindset. I could be very tactical in terms of how I can create comfort and really prepare myself in every way for each step of this process.” (28:47 | Laura)
• “Chances are, they've been touched by this, too. Which means there are so many people who will come out of the woodwork offering guidance and support and recommendations, who are willing to literally take their shirts off.” (36:22 | Laura)
• “Every day was another reminder that I was loved. And that I had support and that people had me in their thoughts and in their prayers. Yeah, it was almost, it was almost overwhelming, to be honest. But it buoys you.” (38:11 | Laura)
 
Resources: https://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/


 
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Understanding Menstruation and Menopause with Ashlee Sorensen

“When we take time to slow down and really tap into our cyclical superpowers,” says Ashlee Sorensen, certified menstrual and hormone coach, “We start to realize that we are divinely created, that we have a purpose. And it looks different for everybody.” Every point in a woman’s monthly cycle heightens different traits and provides different opportunities, including the opportunity for her to retreat inward, introspect and receive what Ashlee calls “divine downloads” which help us better align with who she is and what she wants. The problem is, most of us are “rushing women,” competing in a man’s world, and are encouraged to push through our physical and emotional menstrual symptoms. Yet, by becoming more aware of our own cycles and those of our daughters, we can better communicate with each other, show compassion to each other when we need it, and help lift the stigma and mystery that still exists around menstruation. 
 
Some women may be in menopause or perimenopause while their daughters are menstruating, another major era in a woman’s life that continues to be shrouded in mystery and shame. Menopause, too, provides opportunities for evolution and rebirth, and for confronting issues that may be leftover from adolescence. Again, fostering awareness of these changes can help mothers parent better by establishing boundaries and taking time out for self.
 
Everyone’s “cycle strategy” for optimizing their hormones is unique, but Ashlee offers some general tips that can be helpful to all of us, including certain dietary restrictions and avoiding using birth control to manage period symptoms. Join the discussion to find out how to slow down, and tap into your body’s natural window for resetting and growth. 
 
Quotes
• “When I say it's going to help you find your purpose, it's because really the menstrual cycle is an initiatory process. It has the power to take us from where we are currently and transform us, renew us, every month.” (8:44 | Ashlee)
• “Your hormones literally affect everything and nobody's talking about it. We live in a man's world and we're just expected to function as such. And that's not fair because we're not men. That's why so many women feel overwhelmed and stressed out. And you know, like they aren't enough because we are women trying to survive in a man's world.” (18:51 | Ashlee) 
• “It's not a permission slip to check out on life. It's an opportunity for introspection.” (19:35 | Leslie) 
• “We can start paying attention to our needs, we can start doing the introspection that is needed for personal evolution, and we're not honoring it. And that's what I mean when I say like, oh, that's why so many women feel resentful. Because we're not taking that time to come inward. And there's literally a space designed in the menstrual cycle to allow you to do that.” (20:35 | Ashlee)
• “Perimenopause has been called the second puberty because our body is changing…if things weren't handled, like maybe you've got body image issues or, you know, issues around food, that stuff can creep back up when you're in perimenopause.” (35:41 | Ashlee)
• “How cool is it that we get to push the reset button? Quite literally, every month when we start a new bleed. What do I want to do differently this month?” (40:27 | Ashlee) 
 
Connect with Ashlee Sorensen:
A Bit Better Every Day podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-bit-better-every-day/id1563496116
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyashleenoel/?hl=en
Courses: https://ashleesorensen.podia.com/
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

The Secret to Self-Confidence

“Try as we may, we cannot control the world.” On today’s solo episode, Leslie shares a story of the time she played a sprite in her high school’s production of Shakespeare’s The Tempest. As fondly as she recalls her time on stage, she also relives the panic she felt when something went terribly wrong during a live performance. It was her friend and fellow sprite Jessie’s reaction to the situation that taught her an invaluable lesson about self-confidence. Confidence is one of the most important tools a person can have in their toolkit and is required when doing everything from forging new friendships to starting new chapters in life. 
 
At its core, self-confidence is a matter of trusting oneself and one’s ability to cope. Contrary to popular belief, certain people aren’t born confident, while others are less lucky. Rather, self-confidence is a skill that anyone can build starting with our mindset and the way we talk to ourselves. 
 
Women especially need to work on this skill as we’re taught to believe we can’t handle adversity. Leslie offers tips on writing your own unique self-confidence script to help you start to build your confidence today!
Quotes
• “In my 40 years of lessons learned, this is one that I know for sure, my friends: life will never go exactly as planned.” (6:47 | Leslie)
• “While we can't control the world, we can always control who we are, and how we respond when things don't go as planned. And that starts with what we think.” (8:09 | Leslie) 
• “Notice how those thoughts of ‘Uh-oh,’ or ‘I don't know what to do.’ Those thoughts are roadblocks to action. They induce panic. They keep you stuck, confused, paralyzed–fill in your flavor of feeling.” (9:06 | Leslie)
• “Self-confidence is contingent upon self-trust.” (10:52 | Leslie)
• “Self confidence is available to all of us. Self confidence is not a genetic lottery ticket that some of us win at birth. Self confidence is a choice you make when you choose to love, trust and believe in you. And that's a choice you can always make.” (12:52 | Leslie) 
“We as women are conditioned to believe we can't, in fact, handle it.” (13:58 | Leslie)
“Why don't they tell us that the thoughts we think will determine how we show up on stage and in life?” (19:04 | Leslie)
 
Connect With Leslie:
Leslie's Self-Love Library: https://www.coachchronicles.com/lovelibrary
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

The Anxious Return to School with Kate O’Rourke

“As moms, we’re big problem solvers,” says Kate O’Rourke, certified life coach and host of the Reclaim Your Life with Kate podcast, who joins Leslie on the show to discuss the increased rate of anxiety experienced by teens–particularly girls–in the wake of the pandemic. As a school psychologist, Kate is well versed in the issues anxious teens face as they return to school–including a major resistance to doing just that. 
 
As a single mother of two, she also understands the tendency for mothers to feel guilty about their children’s anxiety issues and their often ill-advised attempts to solve the problem. Recognizing that anxiety is a natural and necessary response, she explains the difference between a “normal” level of anxiety in response to, say, tests and grades, versus something more debilitating. 
 
As the ones who know their children best, parents should trust their instincts to tell them if something is off and whether it’s time to seek professional guidance for their kids. For their part, moms can practice modeling, validating the child’s feelings (something parents often fail to do when they think they’re being “supportive”), asking the child to gauge the severity of their perceived threat, and engaging in co-regulation. Teen girls, especially, are facing increasing pressure to be perfect, and parents should be honest about where those pressures are coming from. 
 
Your teen may not necessarily respond right away and that’s OK, too. The point is to take self-inventory without any of the shame or guilt moms too often place on themselves. 
 
Quotes
• “We all have anxiety. It's there for a purpose, right? It's for survival. If we weren't anxious about the noise that we heard in the bushes, if we didn't worry that it might be a tiger and act and run away, we're getting eaten by the tiger. So anxiety is a survival technique that is still necessary.” (8:26 | Kate) 
• “In situations where if you think that you would be nervous or anxious about something, it would be typical that your teen would be anxious in that moment. But when it's really impacting them, if they're not going out with friends anymore like they used to, if  they love basketball, but they won't try out for the team, if it's just really impacting the things that they used to enjoy and they're, they're not able to get over those hurdles, then it might be a sign that it's time to reach out and get some help.” (10:53 | Kate)
• “It's very easy to question as a mom, when your kid engages in what are just typical developmental behaviors, if there's something really wrong, I need to be concerned, this is a problem I have to solve.’ We're big problem solvers.” (13:26 | Kate) 
• “As a mom, what we often want to say is, ‘Oh, sweetie, you have straight A's, you're so smart, you're going to be fine.’  You're gonna find that can feel really invalidating to someone that is in that spiral. It can also send the message that you shouldn't feel anxious right now, this is something wrong with you.” (16:18 | Kate)
• “I say this with so much love as an anxious mom that has an anxious child, we model that for them. And so the best way to help your kid is for you to go first. If you recognize this in yourself, if you even related to the anxious spiral that we're talking about, the best way to help them is for you to go first and learn about your own brain and your own system and why anxiety is there and how to handle it because then you can offer that to them.” (24:44 | Kate)
Connect with Kate O'Rourke:
https://calendly.com/kateorourkecoach/60min?month=2023-08
 
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://wondrous-leader-9073.ck.page/bc048dbe7b
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Being the First with Kanoa Greene

“We are all built with and for magic,” says Kanoa Greene, internationally celebrated fitness trainer and outdoor adventurer. As a plus-sized leader and new face of the industry, Kanoa is breaking down barriers and introducing much-needed representation, inclusion and belonging to those spaces. Though she was trained as an opera singer and was a success in the corporate world, Kanoa followed her authentic desire to take up fitness and inspire others by sharing her story. Bringing diversity to every aspect of fitness, she has since worked with several major brands and become the first plus-sized trainer to appear on Good Morning America. 
 
Forging your own path is rarely a linear journey. You will make mistakes and that’s OK. Kanoa relied on a supportive network who believed in her–even when they didn’t understand her mission–until she could empower herself. Now, she works to inspire others to empower themselves in return. 
 
Everyone has a story that the world needs to hear. Kanoa’s story proves that even without a roadmap, by following your own inner voice and overcoming your fears, you can tap into your own unique brand of magic. 
 
Quotes 
• “As fearful as I was in taking those steps, I just continue to do it. I continue to show up for me. And over time I realized I was helping other people. I was helping my mother, I was helping my best friend, I was helping my best friend's mother. It was just all of these little things and then I got to see value in in me, right? Even in the body that I'm in right now, even being on my own journey, I still have sparkle in me that is shining and can help someone else on their journey.” (11:12 | Kanoa)
• “I had to spend time alone just knowing in my heart that I made the right decision and that the right thing is going to come to me. It worked out when I left the music amazingly. So I had to believe that following my gut was the right thing and that the right thing was going to open up.” (15:49 | Kanoa)
• “It’s okay to doubt and it's okay to have a lot of fear and to struggle through it. I mean, I would say it wasn't pretty. People would look at maybe my social media now and just seems like oh, it's all glamorous. But it was not glamorous early on, butI think it was extremely important for me to have the people that truly had my best interest at heart and were going, they were in it. It was like heels in the ground. They were going to help propel me forward with as much love and support as they could until I was ready to fly on my own.”  (20:26 | Kanoa)
• “When you're younger, especially when you're in your teens, there's a lot of insecurity. For me, I never felt like I belonged to my body. Iit felt so awkward and it felt like navigating through life was hard. It was challenging” (37:38 | Kanoa)
• “I felt inside of me that I was made for something bigger. It’s like sometimes you just feel like you are special, but the outside world tells you that maybe you're not and you really don't know where you belong or how it's gonna play out. And you don't have the answers, so you don't know that it is gonna work out. What I would tell myself is that feeling inside of you, it is so valid and it feels big for a reason because it is big. It is bigger than anything anyone could ever imagine for you. And so it's gonna feel awkward because you have this big ball of magic inside of you that is bursting to come out.” (37:57 | Kanoa)
 
Connect with Kanoa Greene:
Find Kanoa on IG: https://www.instagram.com/kanoagreene/
 
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

How to Ditch Doubt & Overcome Anxiety

“Even the most successful person feels doubt and anxiety. No one is free of it,” Leslie explains on this solo episode of “Why Didn’t They Tell Us?” Doubt and anxiety act as an alarm system telling us something is wrong. But when we experience these feelings in everyday life, as a result of our negative thoughts, and worst-case-scenario thinking–”I can’t do it and here’s everything that will go wrong if I try”—they act as the greatest barriers to our self-confidence and to our goals and dreams. Luckily, our thoughts are not truths and we don’t have to believe them. In fact, our brains don’t want us to fail or feel negative emotions– so when we feel them (which we will) it only leads to more feelings of danger. 
 
Yet, we all feel anxiety and doubt—at an astonishingly high and persistent rate as it turns out–including Leslie. The point is not to resist them–which only makes them grow stronger–but to learn to process them, and on today’s episode, Leslie gives us the tools to do just that. She gives us N.E.R.V.E.--a five-step approach to turn the volume down on the negative emotions so that we turn the volume up on the good stuff.
 
Self-confidence is a journey and not a destination. Anxiety and doubt are part of the package. By giving them their rightful space without giving our whole selves over to them, we create more room for self-confidence and the pursuit of our dreams and goals. 
 
Quotes
• “The truth is, that every feeling– the good and the bad, self confidence, doubt, courage, bravery, fill in your flavor of your favorite emotion, or least favorite–they're part of the human experience. All of them. No human alive is immune to feeling all the feels.” (2:29 | Leslie)
• “Remember: it's not the emotions that are the issue. It’s what we do and don't do when we feel them, and what we make them mean about ourselves that becomes the barrier to self confidence.” (7:24 | Leslie) 
• “Self confidence and self love are subtle. It's almost like a whisper, ‘You've got this. I believe in you.’ But doubt and anxiety, and the thoughts that cause them are louder. They're boisterous. They demand our attention. It's an alarm sounding, ‘Something is wrong. You aren't equipped for this. You can't do it.’” (9:22 | Leslie)
• “The goal really is to stop emotions from stopping you.” (16:48 | Leslie) 
 
Connect With Leslie:
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Six Simple Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://wondrous-leader-9073.ck.page/bc048dbe7b
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