Why Didn’t They Tell Us?

Learning to Love Yourself with Corinne Crabtree

“I had learned how to be a cheerleader, I had to learn how to be the motivator, I had learned how to be the person who comforted myself when I felt terrible. And that was what made me feel so good at the end, and I knew I wanted to teach other women how to do the exact same thing,” explains Corinne Crabtree, master certified weight and life coach and host of the wildly successful podcast about #NoBSweightloss, Losing 100 Pounds With Corinne. Learning to love yourself is all about re-learning how to communicate with yourself more kindly. When you change your mindset and step into self-confidence and self-love, you can accomplish anything.
 
Corinne was bullied extensively for her weight throughout her childhood. When Corinne became a mother and realized that at 250 pounds she did not have the energy to play with her young son the way she wanted to, she decided to get very serious about making a change. Corinne had attempted weight loss numerous times, sharing that she started going to Weight Watchers at just 11 years old. The difference between those earlier attempts and this one was that this time Corinne worked on transforming her mindset to be more motivational. Instead of being discouraged and telling herself that what she was doing was not good enough, Corinne learned how to turn off that cruel little voice and replace it with her cheerleading voice. 
 
Take time to notice when that little voice in your head is being mean to you. Is it saying that you are not good enough or that your attempts to change are never going to work? This voice is trying to keep you safe by keeping you the same. In order to achieve lasting change, you will need to learn how to switch off this voice and instead turn on your cheerleading voice.
 
Quotes
• “I had learned how to be a cheerleader. I had to learn how to be the motivator. I had learned how to be the person who comforted myself when I felt terrible. And that was what made me feel so good at the end, and I knew I wanted to teach other women how to do the exact same thing.” (6:28-6:44 | Corinne)
• “It doesn't matter if you can have self love right now, the real thing is, are you willing to learn? That's the difference maker.” (8:18-8:28 | Corinne) 
• “It's a skill we develop. Women, honestly, we're not taught it. No one tells us. It's not modeled for us very often. I mean, nowadays we all talk about it, but you’ve got to imagine most of us are walking around as the walking wounded. We have decades of never hearing this stuff and then we get mad at our moms. I'm like they didn’t get this either, why are we mad at her? She didn't know any better.” (9:27-9:55 | Corinne) 
• “If you really want to build a better relationship with yourself, you have to listen to how often you're telling yourself and stopping yourself from progressing when you say, ‘but that's not good enough.’ And you’ve got to be real honest in that moment.” (13:54-14:09 | Corinne)
Connect with Corinne Crabtree:
Instagram - @Corinne_Crabtree
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ NoBSBusinessWomen
Instagram - @NoBSBusinessWomen
Link to Corinne’s No BS Business Bootcamp Event: https://www.phit-n-phat.com/bootcamp-2023
Listen and Subscribe to the Losing 100 Pounds Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/losing-100-pounds-with-corinne/id1233384453
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Celebrate the Small Stuff

“You might think it is the finish line that is the reward. The promotion, the big house, making the team or making the grade, the accolades are literally the medal at the finish line. But I promise you, the real reward is how you will feel,” explains host Leslie Randolph, self-confidence coach for confident teens and confident women. Your feelings are your greatest motivator. If you only allow yourself to feel doubt, insecurity, or anxiety throughout your journey to a goal, you may give up before reaching the finish line. Instead, celebrate every small step along the way and notice how much more motivated you feel.
 
When you are working on goal setting, it can be easy to think the reward is only the finish line at the end. But if you only focus on the finish line, you will miss out on all of the opportunities for celebration along the way. The pride, excitement, and accomplishment you feel from celebrating each small step will fuel you to take the next step, and then the next step, until you reach your goal. One easy way to get started is to make a list of all of your accomplishments. You’ll be so proud of yourself when you take the time to actually notice how much you have accomplished in your life.
 
Why didn’t they tell us to celebrate the small steps? Feeling a sense of accomplishment along the journey to your goal is what will fuel you to take the next step and to ultimately reach the finish line. Make time to regularly celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and you will be amazed by how much more motivated and excited you are overall. 
 
Quotes:
• “Taking the time to celebrate this step, 11 episodes published, is what is going to get me to the next step.” (3:12-3:22 | Leslie)
• “You might think it is the finish line that is the reward. The promotion, the big house, making the team or making the grade, the accolades are literally the medal at the finish line. But I promise you, the real reward is how you will feel.” (9:05-9:30 | Leslie)
• “If you feel awful the entire journey, you might not even get to that finish line.” (11:57-12:05 | Leslie)
• “If you take the time to notice and to feel pride every day, you will always be able to find something for which you are proud of.” (14:21-14:32 | Leslie)
• “If you're going after a goal, I want you to be sure that you are taking the time to celebrate the small steps.” (17:22-17:30 | Leslie) 
• “Why didn't they tell us that feelings are fuel? And the feeling that we yearn for at the finish line, that is the feeling that will fuel us along the way.” (19:27-19:39 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Love the Skin You’re In With Lydia Han

“It's really just taking control back into your hands with what you have control over, which is not how quickly your skin is going to heal, but how you want to show up as you're going through the healing journey itself,” explains Lydia Han, an acne mindset coach who helps women struggling with acne stop hating themselves and their skin. Lydia was inspired to become an acne mindset coach due to her own experiences with severe cystic acne in her 20s. How she felt about her acne and the stories she chose to tell herself caused her to miss out on a lot of her life, from taking a leave of absence at work to not going out with friends. Lydia shares how to regain your self-confidence and self-love by changing the stories you tell yourself about your acne and choosing to live your life anyway. 
 
If you constantly look in the mirror and hate what you see because of your struggle with acne, you’re not alone. A lot of the pain and suffering that comes with acne is actually much more to do with your mindset than it is about the acne itself. You may not be able to control how long your skin takes to heal, but you can control how you choose to think about it and how you choose to show up in the world. It can be difficult to switch from being super negative to all of a sudden feeling positively about yourself and loving your skin, so the first step is to begin viewing acne as neutral. Choose to tell yourself a different story and to love yourself unconditionally.
 
Why didn’t they tell us that we can choose to tell ourselves a different story about acne? When you catch yourself having a negative thought about your skin in the mirror, take a minute to analyze that thought. How does it make you feel? Remember, you can always choose to tell yourself a different story that makes you feel better about the skin you’re in. 
 
Quotes:
 
• “I can wait to live my life once my skin clears up, or I can choose to live my life in a way that I wanted to, even if it was uncomfortable, even if it required more courage and vulnerability from me.” (6:07-6:22 | Lydia)
• “Acne is just the neutral thing, but it's the stories that we tell ourselves on top of it that causes the suffering and the pain.” (11:36-11:45 | Lydia)
• “It's really just taking control back into your hands with what you have control over, which is not how quickly your skin is going to heal, but how you want to show up as you're going through the healing journey itself.” (16:23-16:37 | Lydia)
• “There's a huge difference between letting those thoughts just play in the background or catching ourselves mid-thought and then choosing, ‘do I want to think it or do I not?’.” (18:10-18:22 | Lydia)
• “Your skin is just one little aspect of who you are.” (22:37-22:40 | Lydia)
• “If you're constantly focusing on your imperfections, the breakouts on your face, the things that you don't like about yourself, you're going to see more and more of those things when you look in the mirror.” (24:15-24:26 | Lydia)
Connect with Lydia Han:
Website: https://www.authenticandalive.com/home
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authenticandalive/
FREE Acne Mindset Training: https://www.authenticandalive.com/free-training
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

The Secret to Style & Self-Confidence with Judith Gaton

“If I can show you with your underwear drawer where we can make some changes in your thinking, we can apply that thinking to all the other areas of your life,” explains Judith Gaton, master certified life coach, personal stylist, lawyer, and author of How to Be A F*cking Lady, A Modern Guide to Being Charming and Fierce AF. Judith is also the founder of the Modern Charm School, a private online social club for high achieving women who want to learn more about style, generating wealth, leadership, and leaving a legacy. She shares how making even just small changes to your style can help you to regain your self-confidence. 
 
Style is how you choose to show up in the world. When you don’t dress in a way that matches how you feel about yourself on the inside, you are likely to feel uncomfortable. By choosing to make time for yourself and practicing self-love through your style choices, you will feel more confident in your own skin. If you are nervous about how others will react to your new style, give yourself permission to play around with it at home in your closet. This will help you to learn what works and what doesn’t with very low stakes.
 
Why didn’t they tell us how to get ready or how important style is? How you dress makes a big difference in how you show up in the world. Instead of always putting your own needs last, show yourself self-love by taking time to get dressed in a way that makes you feel more like yourself.
Quotes:
 
• “Fashion maybe doesn't matter to your day-to-day life, but style, how you choose to show up to do your work in the world, to serve the people you serve, to love the people that you love, to be in the communities that you're in, yeah. That does matter, because human heuristics are always at play.” (6:00-6:17 | Judith)
• “I want my outsides to match how I feel about myself on the inside.” (7:14-7:16 | Judith)
• “Why didn't they tell us how to get ready? Why didn't they tell us how to shop for a good suit or a good bra? Why did nobody tell us how important this part would be? Because there's such an emphasis on just be smart. Just get the piece of paper. Just hit that next milestone in your business. Just X, Y, or Z. And then you can worry about that stuff. And it's like, no, no. How about we worry about that stuff now? Cause it's gonna affect how you show up for the rest of this.” (9:25-9:53 | Judith) 
• “If I can show you with your underwear drawer where we can make some changes in your thinking, we can apply that thinking to all the other areas of your life.” (18:22-18:32 | Judith)
• “All of it's a learning process. If everything was always grandiose and wonderful when you put it on, you wouldn't learn anything about yourself.” (45:24-45:30 | Judith)
• “Play in your closet first. Failing there is such low stakes.” (45:55-45:58 | Judith)
Connect with Judith Gaton:
Judith: https://www.judithgaton.com/ 
Get Social with Judith: https://www.instagram.com/judithgaton/
Style Masterclass with Judith Gaton: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLtfJvACCPxoc5zOFhMfyLQ
 
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Be My (Mindful) Valentine

“Taking care of your own wants and needs is the most beautiful thing you can do. Let's normalize that. Let’s be our own Valentine's and take care of ourselves,” shares host and self-confidence coach for women and teens, Leslie Randolph. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, people are focused on showing love to others, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect self-love. Be your own Valentine and take control of how you want to feel. 
 
It’s likely you have feelings that come to mind when you think of Valentine’s Day, and many of those feelings are probably unpleasant. You may have had big relationship goals for a past Valentine’s Day and your partner fell short of your expectations. If you assign meaning to what people do or don’t do based on something arbitrary like the date, rather than focusing on the facts, you will just end up feeling awful unnecessarily. 
 
Make a plan for how you want to feel on Valentine’s Day. If you want to feel loved and appreciated, remind yourself of how loved and appreciated you already are every day leading up to the holiday. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us for a conversation with host Leslie Randolph about being your own Valentine.
 
Quotes:
• “The meaning we assign to other people's actions, the thoughts we think about what they do or don't do will determine how we feel.” (7:34-7:42 | Leslie)
• “I want you to plan in advance how you want to feel on Valentine's Day.” (8:45-8:48 | Leslie)
• “There is so much lovability to you, regardless of what other people do or don't do on Valentine's Day. You want to feel appreciated? You remind yourself of that now and leading up to the day. Remind yourself every day how appreciated and loved you are. There's so much evidence for it when you look for it. So friends, yes, today, every day, and especially leading up to February 14th, be your own Valentine.” (10:03-10:36 | Leslie) 
• “Taking care of your own wants and needs is the most beautiful thing you can do. Let's normalize that. Let’s be our own Valentine's and take care of ourselves.” (11:55-12:09 | Leslie)
• “Focus on the facts versus the optional meaning you can assign to it.” (12:52-12:57 | Leslie)
• “Do not let the date, a neutral circumstance, just the fact that it's February 14th, do not assign meaning to that. That is unnecessary if it makes you feel terrible.” (16:13-16:24 | Leslie)
• “Love is the greatest feeling in the world. Give it to yourself.” (20:44-20:47 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.coachchronicles.com/lovelibrary
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

The Source of Unnecessary Suffering (And How to Stop It)

“I wish someone had told us to feel the emotions, and to feel them all, even the painful ones. Life is meant to be a mix of the good and the bad, the dark and the light. And we only know the goodness of life's most magical moments when we allow and accept the darkness of the hard and heavy times,” shares host and self-confidence coach for women and teens, Leslie Randolph. When we resist our negative emotions, we actually add more suffering on top of the existing suffering. In order to gain the emotional intelligence to begin processing emotions that we might otherwise choose to avoid, we need to practice allowing ourselves to feel every emotion. 
 
Humans are not meant to be happy all the time, but often when we experience a negative emotion we think that implies something inherently bad in us. You are not weak or wrong for feeling badly, you are just a human experiencing a completely normal human emotion. If your reaction to feeling any negative emotion is to be mad at yourself or feel ashamed, you are adding unnecessary suffering onto your existing suffering. Instead of resisting negative emotions, allow yourself to feel them. Check in with your body and label your emotions, because this will help you to normalize those feelings. 
 
It is perfectly okay and natural to feel negative emotions sometimes. In spite of what you continually see on social media, no human is happy all the time. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us for a conversation with host Leslie Randolph about the importance of allowing yourself to experience all emotions, good or bad, in order to reduce unnecessary suffering.
 
Quotes:
• “Suffering on suffering comes when we resist emotions versus allowing them.” (6:58-7:03 | Leslie) 
• “We are not supposed to be happy all the time. We're not. It's a lie that's perpetuated everywhere.” (8:26-8:36 | Leslie) 
• “If you subscribe to a social platform that shows you just one sector of people's lives, you might believe that we're supposed to be happy all the time. And I promise you, we're not. Reels are not reality, my friend. But if we believe that we're supposed to be happy, then when we feel a negative emotion, we believe something is wrong. And then when we think something is wrong, that adds just a whole new layer of negative emotion on negative emotion. I'm feeling sad. I shouldn't feel sad. Something's wrong. Now I feel sad about feeling sad. Suffering on suffering.” (9:05-9:53 | Leslie) 
• “I wish someone had told us to feel the emotions, and to feel them all, even the painful ones. Life is meant to be a mix of the good and the bad, the dark and the light. And we only know the goodness of life's most magical moments when we allow and accept the darkness of the hard and heavy times.” (25:12-25:37 | Leslie)
 
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts or mental health matters, please call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to connect with a trained counselor or visit the Lifeline site at https://988lifeline.org/. Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Cut the Should

“Words matter, my friends. And when we get more mindful about them, we change the way we feel,” explains Leslie Randolph, host and self-confidence coach for creating confident women and teens. Going into the new year, Leslie wants to remind everyone that words matter, especially the words you think or say to yourself. If you are always thinking, “I'm too busy,” for example, you will feel overwhelmed and be unlikely to tackle your to-do list. Whereas, if instead you say, “My life is so full,” it means essentially the same thing, but you will feel completely differently inside. People think on average 60,000 thoughts a day, so word choice really plays into shaping how we view ourselves and directly impacts the direction of our lives. 
 
Your thoughts are a roadmap to becoming the person you want and living the life you want. By not thinking through the words you use, you’re likely to actually block yourself from achieving your goals. Instead, try to be mindful of when you use words like ‘should’ or say phrases like “I can’t” when what you really mean is “I don’t want to” or “I’ve never done that before.” These types of words and phrases feel very negative and do not take into account your own agency over your life. Instead of “I need to” think “I get to” or “I choose to,” because that feels much more empowering. These simple word switches will help put you into a growth mindset so that you can be in a position to love yourself more. When we have more self-love, that leaves more room to love others.
 
Practice mindfulness when it comes to the thoughts that you think and the way you speak to yourself and others daily. Your words directly impact how you feel which in turn impacts what actions you do or do not take. Words have the power to shape your life, and you want to make sure you are choosing words that honor the agency you have over yourself and your desired future. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us for a conversation with host Leslie Randolph about why words like ‘should’ would be best left in 2022. 
 
Quotes:
• “Why didn’t they tell us that words matter? Sticks and stones may break my bones? Puh-lease, it is the words that hurt. And it's not just words that other people say. If I just said we think 60,000 thoughts a day, that is really the soundtrack of our lives, the thoughts that we think. So if we can be mindful about the thoughts we think and the words that we use, that would save us from so much unnecessary suffering, and this feeling of shame, or guilt or other unnecessary negative emotions that come from the words we use.” (5:39-6:22 | Leslie) 
• “Mindfulness and what we think, and then say out loud, is the greatest tool in our tool belt to live a life we love. Because it's not just how it makes you feel, depending on how you feel, will then determine what you do or don't do. And depending on what you do, or don't do, that creates the life you live.” (6:54-7:21 | Leslie)
• “Busy is this permission slip to not do.” (8:33-8:37 | Leslie)
• “The thought ‘I'm so busy’ usually makes you feel overwhelmed. When you feel overwhelmed, do you know what you do? Not much.” (9:09-9:24 | Leslie)
• “Focus on the fullness of your life rather than the burden of being busy and just see what happens. Notice, it's just words. It's just words that have two totally different meetings and have you showing up totally different in this life.” (12:42-12:56 | Leslie)
• “Check in with how it makes you feel when you say these things, saying I need to, it really takes away that power and agency of which you have so much of and you are reminded of it when you simply shift to I get to, I choose to.” (16:25-16:46 | Leslie)
• “When we are loving and taking care of ourselves and honoring ourselves, honestly, it just makes the world a better place, because we are taking care of our own needs. And we are examples for other people who can then take care of themselves. And I always say that ultimately, when we practice self love our capacity for loving others gets so much greater.” (18:02-18:25 | Leslie)
• “As we set new goals and we try to create new things in our lives, be very mindful of when you just lean into I can't because nine times out of 10 it's not true. What may be true is I've never done it before. I'm scared. I'm worried I might fail. But it doesn't mean I can't. If you believe you can't, then you won't achieve whatever it is that you want.” (18:55-19:25 | Leslie)
• “It actually creates an emotional deficit when you tell yourself what you should or should not be thinking, saying, feeling, and doing when you're actually doing the opposite.” (21:36-21:48 | Leslie)
• “If you are acting on the opposite side of that should, then you're fighting with reality. Shoulding forces you to focus on what you did or didn't do and telling yourself why it was the wrong choice.” (21:57-22:14 | Leslie)
• “Do you really want to be exercising more, scrolling less, whatever your ‘should’ is? Or do you simply think you should because some external voice told you so?” (24:48-25:02 | Leslie)
• “Beating yourself up with a word like ‘should’ is like beating yourself up with a butter knife. It doesn't hurt too much, but over time that pain is going to have an impact.” (27:05-27:22 | Leslie) 
• “Words matter, my friends. And when we get more mindful about them, we change the way we feel.” (31:14-31:21 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
Leslie’s class: https://www.coachchronicles.com/seasonoflove
Website: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Learning to Love Your Body with Naomi Finkelstein

“When I started to be kinder to myself, I noticed that I stopped being as critical of other people too, and vice versa,” shares Naomi Finkelstein. Naomi is a large-bodied yoga therapist, health and wellbeing coach, and licensed Be Body Positive facilitator. She has been a yoga teacher since 2009 and began coaching in 2019 when she noticed that the health and wellness space did not tend to cater to larger people. Naomi struggled with her body image her entire life and found self-love difficult when there was so much external pressure being put on her to lose weight. As an adult Naomi found the messages of the body positivity movement and finally realized that all those mean beliefs she had about herself were lies. Her value as a person and worthiness of love was not actually connected to her weight or size, yet those are the beliefs that were ingrained into her from such a young age. 
 
Our society is historically terrible in the way it treats and represents fat people. The diet and beauty industry actively benefit from equating health, self-worth, and beauty with size. There is nothing inherently wrong with you for simply existing in a larger body. Body positivity provides the space for people who look different from society’s ideals to learn to love themselves not only in spite of their differences, but in many cases because of their differences. It can be challenging to confront the lies about body image that have been ingrained into you since childhood but the work is worth the effort. YOU are worth the effort. Some ways to start recognizing the beauty in our differences is to begin following more diverse people on your social media feeds and to spend more time in nature.
 
You are worthy of self-love and self-confidence regardless of the size of your body. Body positivity can help you to reclaim the narrative surrounding your body image and health, so that you can feel happy and confident in your own skin. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us for a conversation with Naomi Finkelstein about how you can learn to love your body and stop believing the lies that our fatphobic society has ingrained in you.
 
Quotes:
• “So much of health and wellness is centered around helping people lose weight, and that is not the best way to pursue health and wellness, in my opinion. In fact, I believe that it causes a lot more harm than it actually helps.” (2:45-3:00 | Naomi)
• “I don't think people realize how their nervous systems are damaged due to this obsession with body and food.” (28:05-28:15 | Naomi)
• “It is imperative that everybody understand that we are all at war with our bodies, because we have bias against fat people.” (28:35-28:46 | Naomi) 
• “People who consider themselves to be social justice oriented miss the mark. They don't really acknowledge fat as a social justice issue, but it is and it is inextricably linked from racism as well.” (31:49-32:03 | Naomi)
• “The more diversity we expose ourselves to, the more we're going to start to see beauty in places that we might not have seen it before.” (33:38-33:48 | Naomi)
• “When I started to be kinder to myself, I noticed that I stopped being as critical of other people too, and vice versa.” (34:00-34:09 | Naomi)
Connect with Naomi Finkelstein:  
Website: http://www.naomifinkelstein.com 
IG: @well_rounded.wellness
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Maybe They Told Us in Second Grade

“If we can approach life with curiosity and resilience like a second grader, perhaps we will get much further,” shares host and self-confidence coach Leslie Randolph. People don’t often think they are going to learn anything useful about themselves at parent-teacher conferences. However, even though you may have heard these same lessons from your own teachers when you were little, it’s likely that hearing them again as an adult will have a different impact. Kids are so resilient. They are not only allowed to make mistakes, but are celebrated for it. They explore and try new things constantly; but somewhere along the way as we age, we begin to fear failure. 
 
To grow into confident teens and confident women, it is important to allow for self-compassion and kindness. Choose to be your own cheerleader and normalize making mistakes. Second graders are not the only ones allowed to color outside the lines. Don’t let the fear of failing or looking stupid hold you back from forming deeper more authentic connections or trying new things. Instead, celebrate yourself for having the courage to take risks. You will likely not be amazing at everything you try at first, but that is okay! Allow yourself to make mistakes on the way to your goals, and don’t let those mistakes stop you from continuing to try. 
 
Why didn’t they tell us? Maybe they did tell us in second grade. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us with host Leslie Randolph to hear more about the life lessons we can all apply to our adult lives that we may have been told as children, but surely need to hear again now. 
Quotes:
• “Maybe some of the greatest life lessons are the simple ones that we learned in second grade.” (5:16-5:23 | Leslie) 
• “If we can approach life with curiosity and resilience like a second grader, perhaps we will get much further.” (6:08-6:20 | Leslie)
• “Starting a business or going after a promotion at work, or any risk that you're taking in your life, the stakes aren't celebrated. But in second grade, the stakes are and they should. They should be celebrated, encouraged and normalized.” (6:44-7:03 | Leslie)
• “Let's all aim to color outside of the lines, to try something wild and crazy that only a sliver of that beautiful brain of yours believes is even possible. But you let that sliver be what leads you and go make that mistake. And then celebrate the fact that you did it, that you tried, and maybe something absolutely incredible will come from that.” (7:36-8:02 | Leslie)
• “Every time we put pen to paper, or we go out and try something new, whatever that risk you take is, certainly you're going to have an expectation. And if you don't meet it, you get to decide how you talk to you at that finish line.” (11:42-12:03 | Leslie)
• “If you know you are going to be kind, and compassionate, and your cheerleader at your finish line, you better believe you will get yourself in the race next time.” (12:10-12:19 | Leslie)
• “Find what you love in this one and only life of yours. So many of us in our later years of life, we just end up going through the motions in autopilot. We stop taking risks or trying new things. We just get through the day, but life is so rich in experiences and opportunities and conversations and connections and humans to meet. Go try it all.” (14:27-14:55 | Leslie) 
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Change Your Mind, Change Your Life

“Choosing to believe in you, that is always an option. Choosing to believe that whatever you want in this one and only life of yours is possible, that is a choice available to you all the time,” shares host and teen confidence coach Leslie Randolph. If you have been feeling stuck and unable to make the changes you want to your life, the most important thing to remember is that your thoughts are optional. You can choose to believe or not believe whatever your mind is telling you. The default mode of the inner teen inside your head will always say whatever it thinks will keep you safe and keep you within your comfort zone. In order to change your life, you need to challenge that default voice and change your mindset to believing that what you want for yourself is actually possible.
 
Mindfulness is not just a buzzword. By learning to be mindful of your thoughts, you can change your life. Leslie explains that thoughts are like a roadmap and that the more you believe and focus your attention on certain thoughts, the more likely those thoughts will be the outcome you find. If you want to change the outcome, you need to change the thoughts themselves. Instead of telling yourself that what you want for your life is impossible, start challenging that inner teen and telling her that it is possible. You can always choose to believe in yourself, because your mindset is a choice determined by the thoughts you allow. 
 
Do you want to increase your self-confidence and make real, impactful changes to your life? You can have the life you have always wanted, all you have to do is challenge your inner teen and change your mindset. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us with host Leslie Randolph to learn more about mindfulness and how your thoughts influence the roadmap of your life. 
Quotes:
• “Nothing about you or your life actually needs to change in order for you to achieve anything you want. All you have to do is learn to manage your mind.” (1:51-2:01 | Leslie)
• “When you learn to manage your mind and change your thoughts, you can change your life.” (2:43-2:47 | Leslie) 
• “You can always change your mind, because your thoughts are optional.” (3:04-3:12 | Leslie)
• “Your thoughts are your roadmap in life. If you believe you will achieve something, you will. Believe you won’t, and I promise you, you won’t.” (4:04-4:19 | Leslie)
• “What you focus on is what you're going to find.” (6:07-6:12 | Leslie)
• “You need to be willing to face embarrassment, failure, rejection, those negative cringy emotions, if you want to achieve something that you don't yet have, you want to achieve that life of your dreams. All you have to do is learn to manage your mind when your brain on its default setting tells you, you can't do it. It's not possible. You will learn to challenge it, you will learn to question that. It’s not a set in stone definitive verdict. It is just your default brain keeping you safe.” (10:16-10:54 | Leslie) 
• “Choosing to believe in you, that is always an option. Choosing to believe that whatever you want in this one and only life of yours is possible, that is a choice available to you all the time.” (11:27-11:42 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ 
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