Why Didn’t They Tell Us?

A Goal Getter’s Guide to Birthday Wishes

“I wish someone had told me that wishes don’t come true. Why didn’t they tell us that wishes don’t come true?” asks host and teen confidence coach Leslie Randolph. Today on her 40th birthday, Leslie reflects on the concept of wishes and how they differ from goals. Whether it is birthday wishes or New Year's resolutions, we tend to think of these wishes as out of our control and unlikely to come true. Wishes are dreams that we outsource to the universe, when really what we should be spending our time on is making goals. Goalsetting can be an intimidating process, because it requires us to get out of our comfort zone. We must be willing to face temporary discomfort and the fear of failure in order to truly be a goalgetter.
 
Your inner teen wants to keep you safe and is very resistant to anything that causes you to leave your comfort zone, so anytime you set a goal there will be pushback from that voice inside your head. In order to keep moving forward and not get discouraged, you need to have a strong ‘why’ to ground you and a clear path to your goal. A goal is similar to a wish, but what differentiates it is that a goal comes with an action plan. Instead of outsourcing the outcome to the universe, you are taking the outcome into your own hands. By truly committing yourself to the goalsetting process and choosing a ‘why’ that you feel strongly about, you can make that dream happen for yourself. It takes self-confidence to push back against your inner teen, and one of the ways to build that confidence is to have a very clear goal, a very clear why, and clear steps forward, along with a plan for any obstacles you may face along the way. 
 
Why didn’t they tell us that wishes don’t come true? Sure, sometimes they do, but the odds are much better with an action plan in place. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us with host Leslie Randolph to learn more about the difference between wishes and goals, Leslie’s goalsetting process, and how to gain the self-confidence to stand up against the obstacles that will inevitably come your way. Leslie shares her process behind the goal she had of creating this podcast, her ‘why’ of wanting to get these confidence lessons to as many women as possible, and how you can use her method for any goal you want to achieve. 
 
Quotes:
• “Why doesn’t anyone tell us how to set a goal and the illusion that comes from wishes?” (3:04-3:14 | Leslie)
• “The common theme with all these wishes is that we outsource destiny to the universe. We close our eyes and wish to the powers that be that somehow this will just happen for us.” (4:49-5:09 | Leslie)
• “You are going to decide on a goal or a resolution and when you do, you are going to commit to it.” (11:19-11:30 | Leslie)
• “I want you to get very clear on your ‘why’. Your ‘why’ is your port in the storm that you can always come back to when you are struggling.” (12:11-12:24 | Leslie)
• “If you set a goal, it requires you to get out of your comfort zone. It requires you to create something in your life that does not yet exist. To create something in your life that does not exist requires you to risk failure, to face fears, to risk potential discomfort.” (14:32-14:52 | Leslie)
• “If I was watching the movie of your life, what would I see you doing every day to get closer to that big goal? Write all those down.” (19:28-19:36 | Leslie)
• “I wish someone had told me that wishes don’t come true. Why didn’t they tell us that wishes don’t come true?” (22:35-22:43 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Why Didn’t They Tell Us?

“This inner teen operates from a place of fear. She’s just trying to protect you,” explains host Leslie Randolph. Leslie is a confidence coach for teenage girls and the teenage girl that lives inside each of us. We all have an inner teen that is trying to keep us safe from cringey emotions like rejection, embarrassment, failure, and humiliation. Our default brain is an insecure teenage girl who simply cannot differentiate between the fear of embarrassment and the fear of physical injury or death. To our inner teen, being rejected can be just as terrifying as falling off a cliff. We tend to think that this ingrained fear of failure and criticism will keep us safe, but Leslie explains that all it really does is keep us small and keep us from living the life of our dreams. 
 
Your inner teen’s motivation is to keep you safe and keep you alive, she just can’t tell the difference between perceived dangers and actual dangers. In order to reclaim self-confidence and embrace self-love, you must get to the other side of those cringey emotions that your inner teen is trying so hard to avoid. It feels uncomfortable to allow yourself to face those fears and risk rejection, embarrassment, and failure, but it is so worth the risk. The life you have always wanted for yourself lives on the other side of those feelings. 
 
It can be daunting to face the longstanding fears held by our inner teens, but it is exactly what we need to do in order to become confident women with the lives that we have always wanted. By better understanding the motivations behind our inner teen, we can better cope with the fears and face them with wisdom, love, and grace. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us with host Leslie Randolph to learn more about your inner teen and how to choose self-confidence. 
Quotes:
• “I always wonder what my life would look like if I had known what I know now as a teen.” (2:55-3:03 | Leslie)
• “Your default brain is kind of like that insecure teenage girl.” (4:28-4:36 | Leslie)
• “This inner teen operates from a place of fear. She’s just trying to protect you.” (5:00-5:06 | Leslie)
• “You remember as a teen that first experience with rejection, embarrassment, humiliation, failure. Those are the feelings that your teen is trying to keep you safe from. The inner teen believes those emotions are just as bad as physical pain or death. Your inner teen is a primal creature. She just wants to keep you safe and keep you alive. She can’t discern between embarrassment and being attacked by a lion or differentiate between failure and falling off a cliff. She’s just going to protect you from all of the above.” (5:17-6:02 | Leslie) 
• “I wish someone would’ve told me that my fear of failure wasn’t keeping me safe. It was keeping me small.” (6:50-6:57 | Leslie) 
• “What I wish someone had told me was that there is so much on the other side of those emotions, those cringey emotions that your inner teen is trying to keep you away from. There is so much connection on the other side of rejection. There is so much pride when you are willing to feel embarrassed. There is so much love and acceptance when you are willing to put yourself out there and face your fear, but you’ll never know it and you’ll never experience it unless you are saying, ‘I am willing to take that risk.’” (11:07-11:59 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Trailer

“Why didn’t they tell us we could love our body at any size? Why didn’t they tell us that self-confidence was simply a choice we could make, and one we were so worthy of choosing?” asks host Leslie Randolph. Leslie is a confidence coach for teenage girls, and also the confidence coach we all wish we could have had access to when we were younger. She applies the wisdom she has learned throughout her life to the advice she gives her clients so that they can be confident teens that grow into confident women. 
 
Women are constantly put down and told that in order to have value they have to look a certain way or behave a certain way. Even as adults, many of us still struggle with the beliefs and experiences we had as insecure teenagers. No one ever told us that we were allowed to love ourselves no matter what or that we could simply choose self-confidence. No one told us that we didn’t need to choose to beat ourselves up every time we didn’t quite meet our goals. No one taught us how to be kind to ourselves. Even though no one told us as teens that we could choose self-confidence over insecurity, Leslie is here to show women of all ages that self-love and confidence are choices that we can all make for ourselves. 
All women deserve to feel confident in themselves and worthy of self-love and self-compassion. Sadly so many of us were taught otherwise as teens and this impacted our confidence levels as adults. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us with host Leslie Randolph to learn how to reclaim your self-confidence. 
Quotes:
• “Why didn’t they tell us we could love our body at any size? Why didn’t they tell us that self-confidence was simply a choice we could make, and one we were so worthy of choosing? Why didn’t they tell us that self-love and self-compassion felt so much better than emotionally beating ourselves up every time we missed the mark on achieving a goal? Why didn’t they tell us that guilt was an optional emotion, even for nice Jewish girls?” (00:09-00:38 | Leslie) 
• “I’m the confidence coach I wish I had as a teen, because I know I could have saved myself and my mother a whole lot of heartache if I had only known then what I know now.” (00:50-01:01 | Leslie)
• “Why Didn’t They Tell Us is a gift of love and wisdom to the insecure teenage girl that still exists in all of us.” (01:10-01:18 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm