Why Didn’t They Tell Us? Self-Confidence Coaching For Teen Girls

Leslie Randolph is a self-confidence coach for teenage girls and the self-confidence coach you wish you had as a teen. In fact, she’s the self-confidence coach she wishes SHE had as a teen because she knows she could’ve avoided a whole lotta heartache, if only she knew the secrets she shares in “Why Didn’t They Tell Us?”

Leslie didn’t know she could love her body at any size. No one told her that self-confidence was a choice she could choose to make (and one she was worthy of choosing). She didn’t know self-love and self-compassion were more motivating than emotionally beating herself up every time she missed the mark on achieving a goal. No one told her that guilt was an optional emotion, even for “nice Jewish girls” like her.

From tips for cultivating self-confidence and combatting imposter syndrome to learning strategies for self-love and silencing negative self-talk, “Why Didn’t Tell Us?” is a gift of love and wisdom for the insecure teenage girl that still exists in all of us.

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Episodes

7 days ago

Raising confident girls starts with how moms regulate emotions, make decisions under pressure and talk to themselves when parenting gets hard.
 
This year-end episode reflects on self-confidence through the lens of motherhood, offering insight for raising self-confident girls who grow into confident teens and confident women. Drawing from conversations with Dr. Lisa Klein, Nina Badzin, Abby Gagerman, Emily Gordon, Heather Redisch, and Simone Knego, these moments stayed with me long after the mic turned off because they speak to what actually shapes confidence in real life, especially during the emotionally charged seasons of raising teens.
 
Again and again, the conversation returns to the same truth. Kids are still figuring themselves out emotionally and neurologically, which makes the intensity make sense even when it feels overwhelming. Belonging matters, but tying worth to approval creates fragile self-confidence. Painful moments do not need to be erased to be survivable. When we lead with regulation, patience, and repair, we give our kids something far sturdier than quick solutions.
 
The lens also turns inward. What happens when we release the pressure to make the perfect call every time? How does parenting shift when self-trust replaces second-guessing? The way we speak to ourselves quietly teaches our children how to respond to their own doubt, disappointment, and discomfort.
 
As the year comes to a close, this episode offers a steadier way to think about self-confidence. Not something to manufacture or guard, but something practiced daily through presence, perspective, and self-respect.
 
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Reflections on 2025: Lessons and Growth
02:26 Understanding Tween and Teen Development
06:38 The Importance of Friendships and Community
13:51 Navigating Social Struggles and Emotional Resilience 
19:40 Deciding When to Let Kids Quit 
25:59 Building Real-World Skills for Independence
30:14 Practicing Self-Confidence Daily
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Instagram
Facebook
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Wednesday Dec 10, 2025

What if the loudest voice shaping your confidence has never belonged to “them” at all but to the stories you’ve been telling yourself about their opinions?
 
This throwback episode takes a fresh look at validation and why so many of us treat other people’s opinions as the final verdict on our worth. Leslie Randolph breaks down how this instinct forms, why it feels so compelling, and how it quietly chips away at self-confidence when we rely on external cues to decide who we can be. She invites you to question the idea of “everyone” watching or judging and to notice how often those fears come from your own inner dialogue rather than real people with real thoughts. What shifts if you stop assuming the worst? What new moves become possible when your own approval matters more than imagined commentary from the sidelines?
 
This episode offers a practical path back to self-confidence through stronger self-trust. Confidence expands when you give yourself the validation you keep seeking elsewhere and take action anyway—whether that means pitching the idea, wearing the loud dress, trying something new, or choosing a path that feels true to you. It’s a reminder that the most powerful relationship you build is the one you build with yourself.
 
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 The  Core Idea of Self-Confidence
06:09 How Others’ Opinions Shape Confidence
09:06 Why We’re Wired to Seek Validation
15:09 Caring About Opinions Without Losing Yourself
17:52 Identifying Who “They” Really Are
20:46 How to Challenge Assumed Judgments
23:56 Strengthening Self-Trust and Personal Confidence
 
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Instagram
Facebook
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Wednesday Nov 26, 2025

Positivity turns out to be less of a lucky personality trait and more of a skill you can shape with intention.
 
At the center of this conversation is a simple idea: confidence grows when you learn to guide your attention instead of letting your brain run on autopilot. Leslie Randolph explains why teens often slip into negative thinking and why women who want stronger self-confidence feel the same pull. The mind naturally scans for what feels hard, yet the ability to shift toward positivity is always available once you understand that this habit can be trained.
 
From there, Leslie highlights the practices that make optimism feel real rather than forced. Catching yourself in a spiral, pausing long enough to ask a better question, and using gratitude as a grounding tool help confident teens and confident women build a steadier inner voice. Even small changes in daily conversation, like naming what went well, create a mindset that notices good moments with more clarity. The heart of her message is simple: positivity becomes a powerful part of your life when you choose it with intention, and that choice strengthens self-confidence in ways that last.
 
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 The Quest for Positivity
03:45 Genetics vs. Choice: Understanding Positivity
09:29 Shifting Perspectives Through Mindfulness
15:13 Building a Daily Habit of Positivity
19:11 Positivity and Reality: Finding the Balance
Connect with Leslie Randolph:
Help your teen cultivate confidence!
Visit Leslie’s website
Follow Leslie on Instagram
Follow Leslie on Facebook
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Wednesday Nov 12, 2025

Mindfulness stops being a buzzword when kids learn to use it in real time to calm their bodies, name their feelings, and stay connected to their breath when life gets loud.
 
Leslie sits down with Julie Freeman, Executive Director of KNOWTICE, to talk about how mindfulness for kids can shape the kind of self-awareness that leads to genuine self-confidence. Julie shares how small, repeatable moments, like pausing to notice a feeling or grounding the body before reacting, help children manage stress, stay present, and access their best thinking. When mindfulness starts early, kids learn they have control over their reactions, which builds emotional strength that grows with them through adolescence and adulthood.
 
The conversation goes beyond quiet moments and breathing exercises to reveal how these early lessons create confident teens who trust themselves and understand their emotions. Leslie and Julie also reflect on how this work ripples forward into adulthood, showing up in the way confident women lead, parent, and care for themselves. By teaching kids mindfulness now, we give them tools to feel steady in uncertainty and connected to who they are - a foundation every confident person stands on.
 
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Why Mindfulness Matters Now
05:28 KNOWTICE Origin Story and Julie Freeman’s Path
11:32 Why Start Early Mindfulness for Kids and Brain Development
16:54 Classroom Basics Mindful Body Stillness and Calming Techniques
22:23 Mindful Parenting and Raising Confident Teens
31:24 The 90-Second Rule and Managing Anxiety in Real Time
43:17 From Mindful Kids to Confident Women
45:42 How to Bring KNOWTICE to Your School
Connect with Julie Freeman:
Learn More About KNOWTICE
Connect with Leslie Randolph:
Help your teen cultivate confidence!
Visit Leslie’s website
Follow Leslie on Instagram
Follow Leslie on Facebook
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Wednesday Oct 22, 2025

Confidence isn’t a personality trait you’re born with but a daily choice you make in the smallest moments.
 
Self-confidence doesn’t always show up with fireworks. Sometimes it starts as a mindset shift so small no one else can hear it, a quiet decision to replace old self-talk with something kinder. Leslie Randolph sits down with Simone Knego to redefine what it really means to become confident women and raise confident teens, not through perfection or performance but through daily honesty and courage.
 
Simone’s REAL framework (Respect yourself, Embrace failures, Ask for what you want, Live without limits) turns self-confidence into something you can build like a muscle. She shares stories from motherhood, adventure, and loss that reveal how mindset isn’t just what you think, but how you recover, reset, and speak to yourself when things get hard. 
 
If your inner voice became a loudspeaker, would it motivate you or tear you down? Whether you’re working on your own self-confidence or trying to model it for someone watching, this episode is a reminder that confident women aren’t born - they’re built one thought, one ask, one brave moment at a time.
 
Episode Breakdown
00:00 Why Self-Confidence Matters for Women and Teens
02:23 Simone Knego’s REAL Method for Building Confidence
07:45 How Self-Talk Shapes Your Mindset
09:02 Modeling Confidence for Children and Confident Teens
15:05 Climbing Kilimanjaro to Overcome Fear
20:08 Asking for Help and Breaking People-Pleasing Habits
26:39 Control-Alt-Delete Mindset Reset
32:06 Moving Forward After Setbacks and Self-Doubt
37:01 Daily Confidence Practices: Affirmations and Gratitude
 
Connect With Simone Knego:
Visit Simone’s website
 
Connect With Leslie Randolph:
Help your teen cultivate confidence!
Visit Leslie’s website
Follow Leslie on Instagram
Follow Leslie on Facebook
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Wednesday Oct 08, 2025

We’ve all been there: standing at the crossroads of a parenting decision and wondering, am I making the wrong call? For many of us, the idea of letting our kids quit an activity feels like giving in—or worse, failing them. But what if the word “quit” is the problem in the first place?
 
In this episode, Leslie Randolph sits down with psychologist Dr. Emily Gordon to reframe what’s really going on when kids want out of something. Together, they swap “quitting” for a new lens: detours, decisions, and opportunities to choose differently. The conversation is equal parts practical and freeing, with guiding questions parents can ask themselves and their kids to figure out whether an activity is helping or hurting, whether resistance is about the activity itself or just the transition into it, and how to know when it’s time to stay the course, or turn down a new road.
 
They also talk about the deeper goal behind these decisions: raising confident teens who know how to check in with themselves, build resilience, and trust their own judgment. From family values to tween autonomy to the lifelong practice of self-confidence, this episode shows how even small parenting choices can strengthen the foundation for confident women in the future.
 
The takeaway? There’s no universal “right” answer. There’s only the right decision for you and your family, right now.
 
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Letting Kids Quit: Why It Feels So Hard  
03:02 Meet Dr. Emily Gordon  
05:03 Reframing Quitting as Taking a Detour  
07:18 A Framework for Making Parenting Decisions  
12:07 Parental Pressure, Fear, and Self-Confidence  
14:22 How to Help Adolescents Name Their Feelings  
17:09 Anxiety, Transitions, and Building Resilience  
20:03 Balancing Parental Control and Tween Autonomy  
29:07 Weighing Benefits, Costs, and Family Values  
31:08 Protecting the Parent-Child Relationship  
34:48 Confidence, Resilience, and Growth 
Connect with Dr. Emily Gordon:
Website
Instagram
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Instagram
Facebook
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

How to Build Emotional Resilience

Wednesday Sep 24, 2025

Wednesday Sep 24, 2025

We all crave comfort. But the truth is, self-confidence isn’t built in comfort zones, it’s built in the moments when we’re willing to be uncomfortable.
 
Leslie Randolph introduces the idea of deliberate discomfort and why it’s the key to both confident teens and confident women. Drawing from her own life and her coaching work, Leslie unpacks how stretching beyond what feels easy builds the emotional resilience we need to face challenges, pursue big goals, and show up with confidence in everyday life.
 
What if nothing changes because nothing changes? What if growth, joy, and genuine self-confidence all live on the other side of discomfort? Whether you’re raising a teen girl or navigating your own season of change, this episode will remind you that confidence isn’t about avoiding fear or struggle, it’s about the willingness to walk through it.
 
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Why Comfort Zones Don’t Build Confidence
03:17 How Health Challenges Sparked a Wake-Up Call
05:56 Resistance to Change and Why It Feels So Hard
09:00 What Deliberate Discomfort Really Means
12:24 How Discomfort Builds Emotional Resilience
14:00 Everyday Examples of Practicing Discomfort
18:02 Asking for Help as a Confidence Skill
20:54 Strength, Growth, and True Self-Confidence
Links
The Tween Empowerment Summit
 
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Instagram
Facebook
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

When the World Feels Heavy

Wednesday Jul 16, 2025

Wednesday Jul 16, 2025

Some days feel heavier than others. Whether it’s a personal heartbreak or a tragedy in the news, the weight of the world can be a lot to carry. And if you’re someone who feels deeply, it’s not always clear how to keep moving forward. 
 
In this episode, Leslie Randolph offers a thoughtful perspective on what it means to live with sadness, anger, and grief without letting them take over. She shares how self-confidence plays a role even in the hardest moments, not as a way to power through or shut emotions down, but as the quiet willingness to feel it all. What if confidence isn’t about being fearless or upbeat, but about staying present when things are messy? What happens when we let go of the idea that we’re supposed to be happy all the time?
 
Leslie invites us to stop “shoulding” ourselves into silence or shame. There’s no timeline for healing and no perfect way to process pain. Whether you’re a teenager building confidence for the first time or a grown woman learning how to trust yourself again, this episode will meet you where you are with compassion, clarity, and a few tools to help you keep going.
 
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Why We Need Tools for the Hard Days01:17 Accepting That Sadness Is Part of Life03:03 Why Asking “Why” Doesn’t Always Help05:12 You Have to Feel It to Heal It06:48 The Pressure to Be Happy All the Time08:12 Confidence Means Feeling the Hard Stuff Too10:04 Avoiding Discomfort Isn’t the Same as Staying Safe11:28 Compassion Over Comparison During Grief13:18 How to Stay Connected When Everything Feels Heavy14:56 Big Feelings Don’t Last Forever Even When It Feels Like They Might
 
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Instagram
Facebook
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Wednesday Jul 02, 2025

At every age and stage, we long to belong. But too often, that desire comes at the cost of abandoning parts of ourselves. True friendship isn’t about fitting in - it’s about finding your people: the ones you like, and the ones you feel good being around.
 
Leslie Randolph is joined by friendship expert and advice columnist Nina Badzin for a conversation about friendship and friend groups, especially during the tween and teen years. But the truths they explore reach well beyond middle school. How do we recognize a real friend versus someone we’re just trying to impress? Why do so many of us stay in groups that drain us? And how can we help kids build friendships that reflect who they are, not who they think they’re supposed to be?
 
Nina shares what she’s learned from years of listening to people wrestle with connection, exclusion, and the pressure to belong. Together, Leslie and Nine unpack the difference between fitting in and finding true friendship, the quiet harm of chasing the “right” group, and the role adults play, often unintentionally, in keeping those patterns alive. They also talk about the value of community and how spaces like family dinners, extracurriculars, and youth groups can offer kids a sense of belonging that isn’t dependent on social status.
 
This episode is a gentle reminder that strong friendships aren’t built on proximity or history alone. They’re built on trust, emotional safety, and mutual effort. And that’s true at any age.
 
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Friendship and Confidence
03:04 Meet Nina Badzin: Friendship Columnist and Expert
05:00 The Myth of the Perfect Friend Group
08:09 Fitting In vs. Authentic Friendship
11:12 How Parents Shape Social Pressure
15:04 What Makes a Friendship Real
20:10 Trust, Safety, and Showing Up as Yourself
24:05 Building Social Confidence Through Multiple Buckets
28:02 Where to Find Belonging Beyond School
30:12 Friendship vs. Community: Why Both Matter
38:09 Practical Advice for Building Real Friendships
41:00 Letting Go and Moving On with Openness
 
Connect with Nina Badzin:
See Nina in Highland Park 
Listen to Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship
Subscribe to the Dear Nina newsletter
Join the Facebook Group
Follow on IG
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Instagram
Facebook
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

How To Be Confident at Camp

Wednesday Jun 18, 2025

Wednesday Jun 18, 2025

Heading to summer camp? Confidence is the most important thing you can pack. Leslie Randolph speaks directly to girls (and their moms) navigating the nerves that come with starting something new, whether it’s sleepaway camp or a big life transition. Some girls are counting down the days with excitement. Others feel anxious, unsure, or like they’re heading off against their will. All of that is normal, Leslie says, and it’s exactly why building self-confidence matters.
 
Leslie breaks down how self-confidence isn’t about having zero fear. It’s about moving forward with the fear and choosing how you want to show up anyway. She offers mindset shifts to help girls challenge worst-case-scenario thinking and reframe those “what if” worries. Confidence starts by recognizing that you can’t control who likes you, but you can decide how you show up, how you treat others, and what kind of camper you want to be.
 
From embracing your interests (even if no one else is into archery!) to staying open to new friendships and new experiences, this episode is a permission slip to be yourself bravely, and without apology. Whether your daughter’s headed to camp, starting high school, or trying something new for the first time, Leslie offers a confidence care package for the road ahead!
 
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Welcome to Why Didn’t They Tell Us  
01:49 Why Camp Brings Up Big Feelings  
03:45 How to Normalize Nerves and Build Confidence  
05:01 Stop the Spiral: Rethinking Worst-Case Thinking  
08:12 Confidence Starts with Knowing Yourself  
13:24 Be Open to New Things (Even If You’re Bad at First)  
15:12 Confidence Is a Skill, Not a Trait
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Instagram
Facebook
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

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